I think postin screen names should be allowed because........

[PrUnE]

Ok, I think we should be allowed to post our screen names, cause there are things that people won't say on the forums a big issue where they need alot of help in but they won't post it cause they dont want everyone to know, but on an aim conversation where it would be a 1 on 1 with someone they trust they would tell them and actually get the help they need, i know u guys dont allow that becasue it would take away posts and this site wouldn't become "famous" as u want it to be, but i thought this was a site for kids to find help, and frankly very little kids have found help, i know i havent and freinds i know personally haven't.

[whuknu]

thats not why they dont want u to post ur email address- its not for their own good-its for ur safety! (as i sed in the questioning God thing). If u need private help, go to the coaches corner, rabbi shu would be more than happy to help u, im sure, thats what hes here for. if u have an aim convo with someone from here and then u see that u go to the same school as them- u might end up getting embarrased... this is not for the administration that they made this rule-its for ur safety and everyone elses.

[PrUnE]

thats not why they dont want u to post ur email address- its not for their own good-its for ur safety! (as i sed in the questioning God thing). If u need private help, go to the coaches corner, rabbi shu would be more than happy to help u, im sure, thats what hes here for. if u have an aim convo with someone from here and then u see that u go to the same school as them- u might end up getting embarrased... this is not for the administration that they made this rule-its for ur safety and everyone elses.why would u be embarresed? he was on the site to, and if u really trust him would u be embarressed? Maybe don't tell them what school u go to? and our saftey? are u kiddin nothin is gonna happen if someone knows ur screen name? Maybe don't tell them what school ur from, or ur last name, or maybe even ur first, and u dont have to tell ppl ur screen name, its ur choice thats all.

[whuknu]

yes but first off-what happens when someone that u know, ims u bc they saw ur sn on thelockers-and then u see that they recognized ur sn- then u might (i know i would) be embarrased- i mean what if u went to my school and recognized my sn or vice versa and then one of us might be embarrased that to eachother thelockers is no longer anonymous since one of us knows the other...someone help me out here...

[PrUnE]

yes but first off-what happens when someone that u know, ims u bc they saw ur sn on thelockers-and then u see that they recognized ur sn- then u might (i know i would) be embarrased- i mean what if u went to my school and recognized my sn or vice versa and then one of us might be embarrased that to eachother thelockers is no longer anonymous since one of us knows the other...someone help me out here...well first off, i would trust the guy not to tell anyone who i was, and there is this chattin system that no one ueses called xfire, no one uses it because its for games, now everyone can download it, make up a user name on it, (xfire is the same basically as aim) and everyone will still stay annoymus, and besides its ur optinion to give out the screen name, if ur gonna be embarresed then dont give it out.

[whuknu]

i hear that, but still, rabbi shu is trying to make this the best for us and the community, not himself.

[CptCatz]

theres a very simple thing we can do about this. just make the option for private messages available to us members. i dont see why they havent done that.

[whuknu]

u mean like not have moderators see what we are saying? rabbi shu already explained that too us- i was thinking maybe there could be a room for ppl to have private posts to eachother and u have to use ur password or a diferent pass word to get in there and both ppl have to agree to certain terms... there might still need to be moderators though....

[CptCatz]

a private message! its a feature that comes with every message board host. its like emails from one member to another.....its a private message.

[Comfortably Dumb]

I agree with CptCatz. I was wondering why we don't have it when I first joined on this board. It's almost a necessity. It would also allow us to contact with our fellow Administrators and Moderators about issues, without having the forum to see it.

[whuknu]

so theres already that- u can talk about things w/ rabbi shu and rabbi pruzansky...but maybe they should have a moderatore/admonistrator whose not a rabbi, for those who dont feel comfortable w/ that.

[PrUnE]

no, there cant be any pms, or postin screen names, i cant say why though, but i understand now.

[luckst4rs]

whuknu- it's not about needing help sometimes. just maybe you find a member you feel comfortable enough to reveal yourself to without wanting everyone else to know.
if we could send pms that would be good bc u can just send one. if u look in the faq section and general forums theres a thing on pms but i dunno how to use it...

[PrUnE]

they took it off, i have my sources, i dont think i can say why they took it off though, maybe the administrators or moderators can.

[luckst4rs]

harrasment or somethin like that?

[shufleye]

guys, i can't really get into the details here because it might give ammo to our critics, but i'll try to answer this as simply as i can...

basically there are many people who don't like The Lockers or the freedom of expression it gives u guys -- it scares them. one of the main things they alledge is that it allows good kids to hook up with bad kids - like that kids could find contacts here to hook up for drugs or other things. our disproof is that there is no way for anyone to meet anyone here, so things like that are impossible.

the thing u have to realize is that, for example, it took the Jewish community over 10 years to face the lanner thing -- we're not very good at hearing painful things about our world. The Lockers forces the community to face many, many things they need to hear about all at once! it panics a lot of influential people who don't want to believe/hear it, and they come at us from time to time with guns drawn, shooting every way they can.

some of our guidelines, like the rules about total anonymity and not letting members meet through the site, are things we gotta do in order to make The Lockers work.

our sole mission is to give you guys a voice and trusted resources to help u with life's issues. but in order to do that we also have to do some blocking and tackling for u guys, and keep the critics without any bullets in their guns.


i hope that makes enough sense -- it would be hard for me to get into any more detail online. but like PrUnE, if anyone wants to talk to me by IM sometime, just drop me a line at Shu@TheLockers.net and we'll set some time.

~shufleye - yer friendly neighborhood admin

[other]

Why do we have to worry so much about what the critics say? The site has already been publicized to the point where people will pass it around by word of mouth. I mean if this is realy for the kids then lets just ignore the adults. Futhermore its not like u(shfflyele), to my knowldge, work in the jewish edcaution feild (or even this country i think). What do you care what they say? I know there are a lot of things i would want to say one on one to another kid, even if i never knew who that kid was.

[shufleye]

hey other - actually, i go back and forth b/t the U.S. and Israel -- right now i'm here in the States....

like i said before, i can't really go into much more detail here, but i'm happy to get into it in a private IM if u want -- just drop me an email and we'll set it up.

but to give u an idea, take for example the school/community where the party happened that got busted. right now i'm deeply involved in that situation of behalf of the teen community, and The Lockers has done a lot to help me and my team advocate against the expulsion of students from that school, and for the school/community to seek a more constructive and meaningful/educational form of discipline rather than ruining teen's lives. while we understand that they have to do something, we are pointing the community to the site and saying that the school/community needs to recognize that this is not about just a few teens, but about a widespread culture -- and that if the school/community really wants to help the teens, then expelling a few kids is probably not the best approach. doing that will only deepen mistrust between teens and the adult community, has no substantive educational value, and will only lead teens to simply hide their activities better from their parents and community.

so the credibility of the site is really important when i and my team use it as a tool to fight for u guys.

u have to keep in mind that The Lockers does 2 things simultaneously -- it gives teens a safe place to go to help each other and to find help from other trusted resources, and at the same time it serves as a wake-up call to the adult community to get in touch with what the modern-orthodox jewish teen reality really looks like today.

that second part is really important, because right now the gap has gotten so wide between what adults believe and what is true, that when they respond when major issues in the teen community come to light, often the responses are more harmful and destructive than helpful. and that hurts everyone.


on another note, and this is something i really can't get into too deeply here either, but keep in mind that some of the teens here come on the site in serious distress, and expose their lives in a profound way. as much as its creepy to talk about -- there are online predators who look for sites just like these, and use things like PMs to target vulnerable teens right under the site admin's noses -- and the admins can't see it or protect the teen because the PMs are private by design. it is exactly because of the profound honesty that is shared on TheLockers.net that we have to be extra cautious in protecting the lives of our members. and while you or possibly many other members might not feel threatened by online predators -- i can tell u that i have been managing online forums for folks like AOL and MTV for almost 10 years now, and the risk is real. and on a place like The Lockers, you're almost guaranteed that at least some of our members are vulnerable.


i hope all that is helpful, and again, if u want to talk more just drop me an email.


yours always,

~shufleye

[CptCatz]

shu, is there any possible way for a member to get a private talk with another member? for example, if i would go to aim.com and make a totally differant screenname than what i have right now so no one would know its me. if i would put that sn in a post, and tell someone to IM me on aim, would you allow that post to go through? when you know someone that goes to your school (like prune or luckst4rs in my situation) and you want to meet them, you cant just go around school asking people if they are them.

on a differant note, i have told quite a few of my friends who i am, if anyone on here knows me, can you just let me know?

[Icegal104]

cptcatz i know who u are.... if that bothers u, sorry

[luckst4rs]

shu, you said how since PMs aren't moderated (hence the private thing) i think you should have the option to send someone one WITH your moderation so you can screen it just in case. i mean maybe i want to write to one member something that i don't mind you seeing just don't want to announce on the whole board (like indentity or whatever)

[other]

if your on here long enfough you get to know who is realy who. To an extent i dont want that to happen to me so i'll admit i have three diffrent names for the two diffrnet types of posts i make (ones that i would like pople to know that i stand by and ones i might not)

[luckst4rs]

well i mean i know who some people in my school are here but not everyone
and i don't mind some people knowing me but i don't need to make it public
and btw-
cptcatz- you might already know me.......

[other]

Wouldn't those pepople be the people who you are close with? and whoever you are close with would know you well efough to know its you (and you would know them well enfough to know its them also).

p.s.

I think that many people might find that after they know what someone said on this board then they might want to become friends as a result (talk about the best way to become friends with someone and not being shallow)

[whuknu]

I think that many people might find that after they know what someone said on this board then they might want to become friends as a result (talk about the best way to become friends with someone and not being shallow)
or even worse see that someone they are friends with sed something so now they DONT want to be friends with them- or they are embarrased?