I'm a loser?

[Friendly]

Why? I'm not mean, and nice to people. I am friendly with lots of people, friends with none. I actually do have one "one good friend" in school but that's more of a front so that other people won't know that I'm really a loser. Loser=No friends. I feel horrible when socializing because I have nothing to say, and that's probably why I have no real friends. And since I have no real friends, I never hang out with them on Shabbat or weekdays or anything, and now my family probably knows I'm a loser! What should I do? And what is my problem?? I REALLY need some help here so...help?

[PrUnE]

Why? I'm not mean, and nice to people. I am friendly with lots of people, friends with none. I actually do have one "one good friend" in school but that's more of a front so that other people won't know that I'm really a loser. Loser=No friends. I feel horrible when socializing because I have nothing to say, and that's probably why I have no real friends. And since I have no real friends, I never hang out with them on Shabbat or weekdays or anything, and now my family probably knows I'm a loser! What should I do? And what is my problem?? I REALLY need some help here so...help?Well first thing first, always try and socialize with ur freinds see. Next think of jokes to say, funny ones, not annoyin ones, try to play some sports u know, all kids like kids who can play sports.

[whuknu]

first of all-i will tell u that in school i have almost zero friends- i have like two. And im not even so close w/ them-but at home in my town i have many friends. Just when i started school- i was hanging out with the wrong crowd for me and then i started hating it and i got so depressed and then i had no friends but then i realized that some ppl in my class were really nice so i started talking to them-this took me about two yrs- so its not completely hopeless. second- i know its not the same-but we are all here for u (well i cant really talk for everyone else, but im hoping they agree). so we cant be w/ u in school blah blah...but we care about u.
Now as for feeling like a loser- in school i always always feel like one. but i know im not one- just like ur not. so u dont have lots of friends-that doesnt define who u r-u dont need lots of friends to be something special. but what r u interested in? if u like sports -then like prune sed-do that- join a team! if ur not athletic-maybe ur an artist- maybe u would like to do ur schools art club? And also dont forget, friendship may come from where u least expect it. not that i know what that means.

[Comfortably Dumb]

You have to act really cool and mysterious. Works all the time. For instance, this chick came up to me last week and she's all, "You're the coolest person." And I'm all, "Yeah." And she's all, "You wanna do something this weekend?" And I go, "Nah."

Yeah...I rule...

[PrUnE]

You have to act really cool and mysterious. Works all the time. For instance, this chick came up to me last week and she's all, "You're the coolest person." And I'm all, "Yeah." And she's all, "You wanna do something this weekend?" And I go, "Nah."

Yeah...I rule...no, she probably thinks ur idea of fun is sittin around and now she thinks ur borin.

[kiyara]

yeah mysterious isnt so cool...i would be like "eww hes such a robotic person who is full of himself and doesnt care that im interested in him."

about the loser thing - i know just what you mean. some of it (I am sure) comes from a low self confidence, but another factor is that you see some people who just seem constantly loved and surrounded by friends and invitations. well hang in there - you aren't a loser. how do i know? because i could classify myself as not having so many close friends in school, but i am not a loser. one doesnt need myriads of friends to survive. i happen to be very close with someone who is actually basically friendless by choice, and when i say friendless, i dont mean he sits at home all day and does nothing. i just mean that he doesnt feel compelled to go out every night. he does his work (he's 25) and is close with his family and helps out a lot of people in different situations, and is totally content. but for those of us in high school, friends are a nice boost. sry for the digression. in school id say i have like 2 really close friends, and i am friendly with everyone else. some a little more than others, only because we are in classes, or in a club or on a team together. nothing major or special. i also notice that (if the dynamic of ur school allows for it) its cool to be friends with other grade ppl. its refreshing and nice, you dont see them as much but u can still be friends. if ur looking for a best friend/soulmate type, then all i can tell u is not to go desperately seeking for it. that will never get you what you want. be patient, and once you are more comfortable with who you are and where you stand, other ppl will be much more inclined to hang out with you.
its ok -- friends dont(should not) make or break you!

[Comfortably Dumb]

What would you guys know about being cool? I'm in a band, dude. Chicks dig guitarists.

[whuknu]

um...well some ppl dont want to act like that...

[PrUnE]

What would you guys know about being cool? I'm in a band, dude. Chicks dig guitarists.roflmao, i know plenty of kids in school, and in camp that are in bands and aren't cool, so just hush if u dont know what ur talkin about.

[whuknu]

i agree w/ prune- being in a band doesnt make u cool- and having a big ego isnt cool either.

[Comfortably Dumb]

Their band is obviously not too good then.

[whuknu]

its not the clothes that make the man- and neither is the band. is someone cool bc they have a jaguar, or is their honda cool bc they are cool? If its the first, then the world is a sorrowful place.

[PrUnE]

first off,i think u have a huge ego, second off, how does u tellin her/him that ur in a band help her/him? Where here to help the person who made the post not try and see who is more popular

[Comfortably Dumb]

First off, thank you. I do have a huge ego and I'm very proud of it. Second off, have you ever been in a band? Obviously not. Join a band and do some shows then come back to me and tell me how much your life has changed.

[PrUnE]

First off, thank you. I do have a huge ego and I'm very proud of it. Second off, have you ever been in a band? Obviously not. Join a band and do some shows then come back to me and tell me how much your life has changed.lol, i gurrente u havent done any shows, and i still know about 8 kids who are in like 3 different bands, all performed before, and no one likes them so yea gg, no re.

[PrUnE]

First off, thank you. I do have a huge ego and I'm very proud of it. Second off, have you ever been in a band? Obviously not. Join a band and do some shows then come back to me and tell me how much your life has changed.and also my life doesnt need to change

[whuknu]

first off- prune he might have performed- thats not the point here. comfortably dumb- i guess its good that u r comfortable w/ who u r. but personally i find ppl with big egos to be jerks. u can be cool definetly with out being in a band

[Confuzedinlimbo]

for starters, its people who are full of themselvs who make others feel uncomfortable socializing.
friendly-you probably are a great person who just isnt in the right inviroment. in elementary school i was a totall loser but i changed a lot in three years bec ause i was put in the right situations and made the effort to make friends. keep in mind that high school doesnt represent the rest of your life and things will probably get better. but untill then focus on grades nd maby improving your relationship with the few people you chill with

[whuknu]

confuzedinlimbo is right about the environment- being in the right environment for u is very important... u have to be comfortable with ur self as well as the ppl ur with.

[Friendly]

about the loser thing - i know just what you mean. some of it (I am sure) comes from a low self confidence, but another factor is that you see some people who just seem constantly loved and surrounded by friends and invitations. well hang in there - you aren't a loser. how do i know? because i could classify myself as not having so many close friends in school, but i am not a loser. one doesnt need myriads of friends to survive.
Wow. It's like you're inside my head, Kiyara. Yeah, that's exactly it actually. Also the fact it would be nice to have a close friend. Perhaps one day I'll become close friends with someone. Also, whuknu, you're really sweet. Thanks.
Comfortably Dumb, I don't know about you being really cool (What is cool anyway? Only in the eyes of the beholder, like beauty, that's what it is), but I know that you're really funny. You really cracked me up. Thanks to all of you. You all made my day:)

[Friendly]

keep in mind that high school doesnt represent the rest of your life and things will probably get better. but untill then focus on grades nd maby improving your relationship with the few people you chill withThanks. Good suggestion. I'll try, not that I'm not already, but thanks.

[whuknu]

:D its my pleasure thats what we are here for- to support eachother. ur right though cool is in the eye of the beholder... someone can think that some movie is so cool while someone else thinks its sooooo dorky or whtvr. I'm glad we made ur day.

[PrUnE]

Frinedly u seem pretty cool to me, and i dont care what ur school freinds say about you.

[kiyara]

aw lovefest. yeah being that im pretty honest and have experienced a lot somehow i tend to relate to ppl(or they relate to me) i am really glad to have helped...Ill be ur friend!:D

["Jewbeagle"]

now, people are aggressive.
they seek power
people need power
and how do people get powerful? they dont need to be nice.
sometimes its just in your self-esteem! if you were happy and in the cool group and then suddenly one day you were for reasons not, it may because you appeared weak.

dont be mean, some times you literally have to dress like the cool kids or listen to the same music...

what i did to make me probably the most non-preppy popular kid in school was:
0. find someone who hangs out with the popular group, and some other random small groups
1. make friends with that person
2. make friends with your new friends' friends *lol confusing*
3. eventually over a long period of time you will be in the popular group.
4. Once your at a party with any of the popular people sit by em if your on a couch, just dont studder or nuthin. act smart, dont lie. and if they are being jerks then just say, "screw u buddy" or sumthin like that and turn that guy into the dork of the party

trust me, thats how it worked for me :D man do i love "S"! *she's my friend who helped me start this*


*named removed to protect identity.
well, now im 3 years later and im in Oregon very far away from Texas... and my *best* friends were crying over my shoulder BAWLING! now you know that you were a great friend if that happens

good luck with that amigo:D :cool:

[sosa90]

get involved. join club of some sort. that gets you talking to people. and you're talking about the club, so you dn't run out of things to say. i'm in students for democracy, and i met lots of cool people there, who are now some of my closest friends. we start out talking about whatever's going on, but we always end up completely off subject, or screwing around, gambling with chex mix and stuff. sports teams are ok for this, but it's hard to get to know someone while you're running drills, and sweating (as an involved basketball player of 9 years, and recently a coach, i know. i played on the same team for 9 years, and never really got to know any of them until we had classes together)anyways, anything that involves discussion, and a little goofing off will get you very far.

[funnygirl96]

Why? I'm not mean, and nice to people. I am friendly with lots of people, friends with none. I actually do have one "one good friend" in school but that's more of a front so that other people won't know that I'm really a loser. Loser=No friends. I feel horrible when socializing because I have nothing to say, and that's probably why I have no real friends. And since I have no real friends, I never hang out with them on Shabbat or weekdays or anything, and now my family probably knows I'm a loser! What should I do? And what is my problem?? I REALLY need some help here so...help?

i think its normal to be awkward and feel lik a loser in hs. i kno we'r in the same boat, its lik hey i'm cool w/all these people, but....we'r just not close. i have friends i hang out with at school, but on wkends u can forget about them callin me up to go to somethin, i'm pretty busy also but its the point. i think those people who are surrounded by tons of people, dont really have people in those groups they trust. like there's this one popular-ish guy who iv had in a few classes and stuff and we'r friends and we'v talked about serious stuff and i'm not in his little group. so why wuld he be talking about somethign serious with me? u kno? he's surrounded by all those other people, but who says that means that he really likes all of them or that he trusts them? i mean so what u look popular, most of the time i'v found that its pretyt fake. like soemtimes they are actually all real close but, iw uldnt count on it.

[MashaMay]

Why? I'm not mean, and nice to people. I am friendly with lots of people, friends with none. I actually do have one "one good friend" in school but that's more of a front so that other people won't know that I'm really a loser. Loser=No friends. I feel horrible when socializing because I have nothing to say, and that's probably why I have no real friends. And since I have no real friends, I never hang out with them on Shabbat or weekdays or anything, and now my family probably knows I'm a loser! What should I do? And what is my problem?? I REALLY need some help here so...help?


It may be how you act around people...if you are quiet and keep to yourself people think you don't want to talk and wont make an effort...if you are loud and obnoxious...you will chase people away. I used to be like that because i have a bad case of ADHD...and would lose friends quickly.

I find that watching people and becoming a part of their conversation, making input on something their doing gets people to talk to me.
For me i've Pretty much gotten over my fear of embarrassment, talk to complete strangers, and end up making friends. Try a diff. approach.

[jewdancer58]

Why? I'm not mean, and nice to people. I am friendly with lots of people, friends with none. I actually do have one "one good friend" in school but that's more of a front so that other people won't know that I'm really a loser. Loser=No friends. I feel horrible when socializing because I have nothing to say, and that's probably why I have no real friends. And since I have no real friends, I never hang out with them on Shabbat or weekdays or anything, and now my family probably knows I'm a loser! What should I do? And what is my problem?? I REALLY need some help here so...help?

Okay, first of all, if youre friendly with lots of people, then make them your friends. hang out with them at school enough until youre part of their group. Also, dont take your "one good friend" for granted. she hangs with you for a reason, and its short-sighted and rude to take her for granted and keep her as a trophy.

[emosexual21]

Why? I'm not mean, and nice to people. I am friendly with lots of people, friends with none. I actually do have one "one good friend" in school but that's more of a front so that other people won't know that I'm really a loser. Loser=No friends. I feel horrible when socializing because I have nothing to say, and that's probably why I have no real friends. And since I have no real friends, I never hang out with them on Shabbat or weekdays or anything, and now my family probably knows I'm a loser! What should I do? And what is my problem?? I REALLY need some help here so...help?
its good that ur nice and all, and dont stop being nice, but in todays world u need mroe thant that. it sucks. just the way it is. itl get better by high school

[funnygirl96]

its good that ur nice and all, and dont stop being nice, but in todays world u need mroe thant that. it sucks. just the way it is. itl get better by high school

uhm....high school still sucks........

[GengB]

uhm....high school still sucks........

amen.. and women

[pinkvixon17]

i have alot of friends and pple dont want to be around some one who is depressed or has no self confidence, you should just be ur self dont try to be someone else and pple will come around. i used to be a lamer but now that i have gorwn to love my self every one loves me!!!! lol but yea just be ur self and i f pple dont like you for u then their not worth the time

[GengB]

i have alot of friends and pple dont want to be around some one who is depressed or has no self confidence, you should just be ur self dont try to be someone else and pple will come around. i used to be a lamer but now that i have gorwn to love my self every one loves me!!!! lol but yea just be ur self and i f pple dont like you for u then their not worth the time

its possible u got hotter too. lol just throwing that out there.

[pinkvixon17]

its possible u got hotter too. lol just throwing that out there.

possibly but i like to pretend im not full of myself lol even tho n my locker at school i do have a pic of myself cuz i jus love it lol it an 8 by 10 pic too the big one wouldnt fit so i had to get a smaller one. and i dicovered how gourgeous my her was to i jus love it now lol. the day i realized how awesome i was i was at i chiness reserant and i got a fortune cookie and inside it said "you r the center of every groups attention and i still have it today like 4 years later. NOW THAT MADE MY DAY lol. but neways this isnt about me everyone has a chance to shine and that day will come where everyone will get a fortune cookie that inspires them. you just have to be patient and wait for it. gosh i love me i should be in inspiretional speaker lol........i love me......every one loves me teehee:)

[GengB]

possibly but i like to pretend im not full of myself lol even tho n my locker at school i do have a pic of myself cuz i jus love it lol it an 8 by 10 pic too the big one wouldnt fit so i had to get a smaller one. and i dicovered how gourgeous my her was to i jus love it now lol. the day i realized how awesome i was i was at i chiness reserant and i got a fortune cookie and inside it said "you r the center of every groups attention and i still have it today like 4 years later. NOW THAT MADE MY DAY lol. but neways this isnt about me everyone has a chance to shine and that day will come where everyone will get a fortune cookie that inspires them. you just have to be patient and wait for it. gosh i love me i should be in inspiretional speaker lol........i love me......every one loves me teehee:)


i got a fortune cookie that said "give up" I don't get any respect.

[Sunshine]

GengB, how low is your self-confidence that you''re gonna listen to a tiny stupid slip of paper in a greasy little pastry?

[GengB]

GengB, how low is your self-confidence that you''re gonna listen to a tiny stupid slip of paper in a greasy little pastry?

i'd have to say pretty dam low, thanks for asking!


btw, i was joking just incase you couldn't tell.. and why wouldn't you ask the same of pinkvixon?

[Sunshine]

So was I...

And I was too lazy to type out the whole "pinkvixon17"-your name is shorter. (don't try to understand my reasoning on that one...I don't get it myself;) )

[jewbag]

Why? I'm not mean, and nice to people. I am friendly with lots of people, friends with none. I actually do have one "one good friend" in school but that's more of a front so that other people won't know that I'm really a loser. Loser=No friends. I feel horrible when socializing because I have nothing to say, and that's probably why I have no real friends. And since I have no real friends, I never hang out with them on Shabbat or weekdays or anything, and now my family probably knows I'm a loser! What should I do? And what is my problem?? I REALLY need some help here so...help?


Ok, first things first, never change who you are for other people!
And people arnt going to become friends with you until you become a friedn to yourself, you know? You gotta learn to love yourself and have a positive outlook, and it will radiate off of you, like bring light to other people.

So just like, be yourself and love yourself, then other people will learn to love you too.

uh, hope i helped :)

[g_stringjew]

how old r u and where do u live?



Why? I'm not mean, and nice to people. I am friendly with lots of people, friends with none. I actually do have one "one good friend" in school but that's more of a front so that other people won't know that I'm really a loser. Loser=No friends. I feel horrible when socializing because I have nothing to say, and that's probably why I have no real friends. And since I have no real friends, I never hang out with them on Shabbat or weekdays or anything, and now my family probably knows I'm a loser! What should I do? And what is my problem?? I REALLY need some help here so...help?

[NormalStinks]

Freindly- Being nice or hot or funny isn't the only thing you need to do in order to make freinds. It easier to be freinds with someone if you can find something in common between the two of you. once you found that, start talking more (you'll probably have a little more to talk about). Once you can laugh together and have some private jokes you'll be closer. The thing that makes me really bond with a person is when one of us has a problem we can come talk to eachother. when a person comes to you for help with their problems, you know you've become good freinds. Just make sure not to complain too much or to give preachy advice, that gets annoying. And if you don't find someone who seems to have anything in common with you, that sux but that doesn't mean youre a loser or that you should give up. find someone you can eat lunch with and can hang out with, and when high school ends go to a big college and you'll meet someone who you can truly bond with.

[wiki]

join clubs or teams....seriously it might sound cheezy but its a really great way to meet new people. like, my youth group at my temple is where all of my best friends are. at my public school, i dont have very many close friends and im definately a B-lister. in my youth group and hebrew high, i'm the most popular girl there, and it makes me happy being with them. there's always more kids around than you think, and im sure theres other kids taht are in the same situation as u. dont worry- it will all fall in to place.

[icysweet]

I know what you mean. It's hard for me at times too, sometimes I don't feel like I fit in, even though I'm also friendly and try hard to make an effort to get to know people. But just know this: you're not alone! I hope it gets easier for you!:o

[wiki]

Why? I'm not mean, and nice to people. I am friendly with lots of people, friends with none. I actually do have one "one good friend" in school but that's more of a front so that other people won't know that I'm really a loser. Loser=No friends. I feel horrible when socializing because I have nothing to say, and that's probably why I have no real friends. And since I have no real friends, I never hang out with them on Shabbat or weekdays or anything, and now my family probably knows I'm a loser! What should I do? And what is my problem?? I REALLY need some help here so...help?

i was like that in the beginning of this year...get along and talk to everyone, but would never outside of school. it sucks, because you feel like everyone else has all these great friendships and all you want is to be part of them.
my solution was this- i told the one "good friend" i had that i thought we should split, because i felt that if i was more my own individual person that didnt have to depend on someone and they didnt have to depend on me, then i'd be able to on my own make more friends. at first i was kind of scared that it wouldnt work and i'd have NO friends, but it did. people saw me more for me, instead of two people that only had eachother. now, i've been able to be more free and outgoing, and i've made tons of close friends. over all, just be your own person and people will appritiate it more.

[bochur90]

Friendly-you must have interests and talents. If you focus on those, you are bound to find others similar to yourself and if you are a nice guy, you'll be fine. Another idea is perhaps you should take up learning Torah. The way it is done in orthodox circles is you always learn with a study partner (often someone you never knew before), and it helps people who have trouble "breaking the ice" because you are both focused on the task at hand which is understanding what you are learning. This has helped many people I know, many people who were really socially awkward, so this could very easily help you too.