Tomorrow, tomorrow...

[WriterAtHeart]

So my dad's going into an assisted living tomorrow. I basically feel like **** because of this. I hate him and wish he would die and make our lives easier, but I feel this horrible sense of guilt. I don't know how to deal anymore.

[knock6495]

So my dad's going into an assisted living tomorrow. I basically feel like **** because of this. I hate him and wish he would die and make our lives easier, but I feel this horrible sense of guilt. I don't know how to deal anymore.

You'd feel more guilty if he actually died. (Infinitely more guilty.)

But you shouldn't feel guilty if he needs to be in this facility, both for his sake and yours.

[WriterAtHeart]

You'd feel more guilty if he actually died. (Infinitely more guilty.)

But you shouldn't feel guilty if he needs to be in this facility, both for his sake and yours.

Why?

It's easier said than done. He doesn't want to go, this never would've happened if I hadn't pushed for it so long and hard, and so it's my fault that it's happening, and I feel like crap for it. Uch. Nothing's right anymore. Nothing is working. Everything is messed up.

[dance hall drug.]

Maybe he's not meant to go in if you're feeling so bad. I know that you say over and over that you really hate him and can't wait for him to be somewhere else.. but it seems that you must care for him somewhere within you. Sending him somewhere that will be helpful for both you AND him means that you care where he goes. You wouldn't want him somewhere on the streets or dead if you're putting him somewhere that is also meant to help him. Also.. this guilt wouldn't be with you if you didn't care.

You just need to repeat your mantra. This is for the best.

[WriterAtHeart]

Maybe he's not meant to go in if you're feeling so bad. I know that you say over and over that you really hate him and can't wait for him to be somewhere else.. but it seems that you must care for him somewhere within you. Sending him somewhere that will be helpful for both you AND him means that you care where he goes. You wouldn't want him somewhere on the streets or dead if you're putting him somewhere that is also meant to help him. Also.. this guilt wouldn't be with you if you didn't care.

You just need to repeat your mantra. This is for the best.

I do hate him. He ruined my and my mother's lives. I want him to die. But on the other hand, my stomach is in knots and I feel like I want to vomit (and I have a chem test tomorrow...I already failed one test in chem, I can't do that another time), I feel so guilty for doing this I can't even believe it. I just want this all to be over.

[deepthinker]

I do hate him. He ruined my and my mother's lives. I want him to die. But on the other hand, my stomach is in knots and I feel like I want to vomit (and I have a chem test tomorrow...I already failed one test in chem, I can't do that another time), I feel so guilty for doing this I can't even believe it. I just want this all to be over.

Hi, I'm new here...
WriterAtHeart you seem like an amazing person who has been thru a lot. I can relate to the whole dad thing, but obviously in a different way.
If there is one thing I have learned it is to try and stay strong, and to not be afraid to ask for help from others. So your friends know about your dad? Are things going better now?

[MissyAY]

What exactly is going on with your dad?

[WriterAtHeart]

Hi, I'm new here...
WriterAtHeart you seem like an amazing person who has been thru a lot. I can relate to the whole dad thing, but obviously in a different way.
If there is one thing I have learned it is to try and stay strong, and to not be afraid to ask for help from others. So your friends know about your dad? Are things going better now?

My close-close friends knew that he was going, but I haven't told them that he's there yet (and it's been like a month). There's only one friend that I go to school with that I told, and even then it was over chat when I was frying out and she happened to be online. Nothing's better. The guilt is still killing me.

[WriterAtHeart]

What exactly is going on with your dad?

To be concise, he had six strokes, major OCD, we put him into an assisted living because we can't live with him anymore. I hate the bastard for screwing up my life.