We live in a Bubble

[other]

What is everyone's reflection on that stamen? I don't have time to write something long right now, but at some point I will. Just thought I’d stimulate the subject.

[whuknu]

heres what ithink. ur life is what u make it to be. you want to live in a bubble- then make a bubble around urself- and many ppl do. u want to live outside the bubble or make the bubble bigger- u can do that too. i mean we all say we are so sheltered by our schools and so on, but in reality we arent so much, we are only as sheltered as we want to be.

[forget]

yea right
i dunno about you but some jewish parents are crazy
my mom would kill me if she knew that i even KNEW non-jews. she doesn't like me hangin out with kids who aren't shomer shabbos.
so yea parents and our schools can keep us in this bubble even if we want to escape

[whuknu]

yea right
i dunno about you but some jewish parents are crazy
my mom would kill me if she knew that i even KNEW non-jews. she doesn't like me hangin out with kids who aren't shomer shabbos.
so yea parents and our schools can keep us in this bubble even if we want to escape
Wow. So I'm jsut a kid and i cant say who is right and who is wrong, but my parents wanted me to interact with others. they love that i do! when i was little they would send me to a public day camp instead of expensive private jewish camps- it was wonderful! i met all sorts of ppl- its "broadened" my sense of the world. Its not possible for us to live in a bubble- especially in a non jewish country. if we really wanted to live in a bubble then we should all live in israel (this is not to say that israel doesnt have irreligious ppl and so on but u get the point i hope). I have many public school/not jewish/irreligious friends. they are wonderful ppl regardless of whether they are jewish or religious. my parents like them too. they are always welcome in my home as are religious ppl. (no its not im not labavitch or nething). I am glad that my parents havent put me in a bubble and that they had me interact with other kids. i remember when i was little my black neighbor and i would play all the time- and we would have so much fun! we still hang out from time to time. But either way its helped me to learn about other ppl and their cultures- i love to learn about other ppl's cultures- i find them very amazing.

Forget- i wouldnt call ur parents crazy per sey... just diferent from mine...
BTW- my parents arent liberal- i guess they jsut dont want me and my siblings to be sheltered.

[forget]

my parents are pretty cool normally just they don't want me to break shabbos and kosher and all that and if i hang with people with who they do think i will... which is true. but some people, especially super relig schools, force the kids into a bubble. so its not so easy to break out. i mean i have different friends from everywhere but its not so excepted to hang out with nonjewish kids when ur parents are afraid if u get used to it u might end up dating... then marrying..

[whuknu]

i guess its the diferent sense of religion u r brought up with- yes ive met some great guys who arent jewish that i wished were but the second i found out they werent jewish then that was it- i mean i woudl still hang out with them- but i wouldnt go out with them. I was brought up with a strong sense of religion- therefore i could even hang out wiht my non jewish or irriligious friends on shabbat- and not break the shabbat! its all about how ur brought up. ur right- some parents force kids into a bubble- while other parents take them out of it...

[castophrenia]

I think we are kinda in a bubble. but the adults especially seem to forget that aside from being yeshiva kids, we're still normal people and we still do the normal things that other teenagers do.

I think that if people are forced into a bubble too much then it's gonna mess them up if they don't want to only live in the bubble forever. I mean, we're gonna grow up and have to be regular members of society right? And we'll have to be around all kinds of people and if we're stuck in a bubble where we dont' really learn how to get along with people that aren't like us, how are we gonna get along with them when we have to?

[lost33]

living in a bubble is good in some ways and bad in others

if we put oursleves in a bubbke then we are more able to sift out the good form modern society and keep out the bad but on the other hand at some point in our lives we are going to have to step out of our bubble and concfront modern society, though i guess if we grew up without being tainte wiht the bad elements of modern society we will be better able to confront it as we get older while still being true to judasim

[booklet0519]

i think that to a certain point ,we do live in a bubble, but as we grow the bubble's walls can become thinner, or pop, but not for everyone ( only if you want it)

[joy2dworld]

Last year i lived in a place without many orthodox jews, so i went to a non-affiliated jewish school. it accepted all kinds of kids, and so i think i got a pretty good view of jewish society. you know the "bubble" doesn't just keep out non-jews, it keeps out consevative, reform, and reconstructionist jews too.
My catholic science teacher gave me a pretty good view of catholocism, too. and guess what? contrary to popular belief, MOST christains don't want to kill or even convert the jews. Jesus was a jew, too, you know.
Now I board at a families house to go to yeshiva, and i am kinda shocked to see how clueless orthodox jews are about goyim and even less observant jews.

[booklet0519]

it's true... my family ranges from a male gabbai for an orthodox school to a freamale reform rabbi, so i haev grown out with a thiner bubble than a lot of people

its really sad to see how popel dont want to know other cuturels, bc they really make you appreciate your own( in general)

[Comfortably Dumb]

Bubble Boy in Seinfeld was hilarious.

Man, if I ever end up in a bubble, I'm gonna be just like that dude.

[Opeth]

Hmmm...yeah I'd say most of us live in a bubble. It bugs the hell out of me sometimes...but chances are if I let loose most of the people from the yeshiva world (like on this board ) would be the object of my criticism. So forget it.

[kiyara]

i think that we definitely live in a bubble, i mean so many things in like are not even an option, not even to be considered for a moment, like public school, mcdonalds, dating a non-jew, etc. i mean every single time i leave the house my parents need to know wehre im gonig, for how long, with who, why, and who are the ppl, how do i know then, how old are they, waht school are they in....and they judge- like if someone is dressed differently/ a little gothic, wahetever, they automatically are wary of them. thats why i want to get out of the yeshiva system.

on the other hand, in the sparse times i find myself in the "real world", i kind of dont know how to act and feel a little uncomfortable/ out of place. its a lose lose world, folks!

[other]

This summer i went to a summer program at a university, there were people from all over the world (my dorm mate infact was a suadi prince) and one thing i learned was that in the end we are all just kids who wana have fun, enjoy life and be at peace with eachother. Alot of people don't see other people as people (say that 10 times fast), they see them as some sort of object that lives in that black box on your tv stand.

[Confuzedinlimbo]

Like, school and parents cant keep us in a bubble but they can do a lot. Most peopl arent mature enough to bother to do this but no one is preventing u from reading up on other religions or world issues. I guess there are other ways to do it but reading (and also music) have definatly broadened my perspectives. cause u can interact with non-jews fine but still act very orthodox and sheltered and think everything but judaism is heretical.
What I hate most about the bubble or jewish mentality or whatever, is that these people live their lives in fear and discomfort from over 99% of the world. Isnt that a bit scary? that out of the small nuber of religous Jews left most are afraid of the entire freaking earth!!!
It's like saying that we're right and everything else is wrong, so black and white, like they cant shove 99% of the world into one category and label it "bad!"

[firegirl05]

i love talkign abt this!! my school tries to keep us in a bubble, like in the rulebook they wont say dont talk to guys theyll say dont associate with people unlike you- which means guys, and non jews....which is dumb. my parents say that i shud do wut my school sez but they dont rly care if i tlk2 non jews or guys...

i think its so stupid to put your kid in a bubble, sheltered from the outside. cuz one day theyre gonna have to go out into the real world and face whats out there and its not all perfect bliss...
if you never let ur kid tlk 2 a guy, shes gonna have problems going out on shidduchim. if u never let ur kid tlk 2 a nonjew- shes gonna have a problem at work...unless of course she becomes a full-time mother and puts all of her children in bubbles.

[Opeth]

I think most of them don't do that consciously, but most aren't aware enough to realize they are subconsciously. Forget even the "good/bad" part - how about the fact that everyone knows everyone, except for anyone that isn't Jewish? How many religious Jewish people do you know that have non-Jewish friends? And no, the ones that do so that they can say they have non-Jewish friends don't count. At the same time, every single Jewish person in a community knows every single Jewish person in that same community, and all they spend time doing is talking about each other. One of the reasons I hated the people on Mach Hach was because whenever we saw another bus, ALL anyone did when they met someone was say hi and talk about who knew who. Even when it was someone they knew. At best, they'd trade stories about mutual friends.

[Dontknow]

if you want to live outside the bubble, you have to push your way out. I did. Yes I still have a life in the jewish community, but i have friends who are far from religious, and friends who are far from jewish. this doesnt make me not religious or nething, yeh my dad deosnt like that i have these friends but they arent his friends and its not his life. i dont think im doing anything wrong. Now in terms of being respectful to my dad, i try my hardest to not be out there about my non jewish friends. and he deals.

[forget]

non jewish friends are better than most jewish friends. they are accepting and more open minded. its hard to say oh yea my parents cant ever know about you bc ur not jewish...

[booklet0519]

realy? i dont have non-jewish friends o i wouldnt really know... i guess i want out, but i dont want it like a jolt... you know- i started by preforming with the local jcc (mostly jews but no mans exclusive) (gasp- a good jewish girl singing i public....), moving on to placs like this, to thinking about going on an interaith tour to israel this summer...to ???

glad to know others feel the same

[forget]

they are more accepting...
it just gives u a better sense of what really is normal and what most people are like. most of this country is not made up of religious jews and you can never survive in real life if you dont know what the rest is like...

[ElectricMayhem]

I feel like I'm going to get a lot of negative comments, but I might as well post this anyway.

When you were a baby like really little, a few months old, how careful were your parents to either watch you themselves all the time or only let certain trusted friends and relatives watch you? Unless your parents are unlike the vast majority, they kept you on a VERY short leash. Then, as you got older, they began to trust more adults, then babysitters, then siblings only a couple years older than you. At this point, they trust you to watch yourself and even to go out yourself and watch others. So what's my point?
Whether you want to admit it or not, even now, you're still growing up spiritually. Hopefully it's a never-ending process, but at a certain point you reach spiritual independence. Sorry, but that doesn't happen until you're past the age where your main spiritual education is coming from others. Spiritually, your parents and rebbeim and teachers are watching you all the time. And quite logically, they're not about to let you play with fire if they can prevent you from doing so. If you get out of the bubble, you're exposed on all sides to a culture that wants to rip you away from Judaism - or, in other words, to assimilate. It's not an evil culture, but it is one that believes in equality to the extent that there are no social barriers. It's great to have rights, but it's not great to be open to full integration and intermarriage and loss of identity. This country is all about freedoms, but Jews know that certain actions may not compromise others' rights but are still wrong. The surrounding society is not evil, but unless you have a VERY strong background, it will destroy the core of your Judaism nonetheless. However, if you build up a strong connection to Judaism first (e.g. going to Israel for a year or two) and then take steps into the world as a whole, you'll be able to resist negative societal pressures, like in college or a job.

Basically, what I'm saying is that the bubble does not exist because we're afraid of the world around us or because we think that if we opened up our minds we would immediately lose our Judaism. It's because we need to build ourselves up before we can deal with a society that, though it has many positive qualities, can also destroy the essence of a person if he/she's not careful.

[booklet0519]

i think tho, that what u r saying is that for a certain age group the bubble is good... what i think some of the other people were saying is that people in their 60's who are still growing , true, but could in theory live outside the bubble but they built it up stronger instead

how does everyone feel about my ananlasis?

[ElectricMayhem]

booklet, point taken, but would you always expose yourself to danger just for the hell of it? These people feel that there's no need to expose themselves, and if they can live without the outside world, who are we to say they're wrong?
(By the way, this is coming from someone who has been on both sides of this issue at different times. I know what I believe for myself, but that doesn't mean I have to impose my own worldview on everyone else - dan lekaf zchus. I'm just trying to say that there is validity to both sides, and you can't just immediately say I'm right, so they must be wrong.)

[whuknu]

Living in the bubble can be just as dangerous, if not more. Why was this web site created? Because there is a bubble for the MO community, and not only did some kids get outside the bubble, some were just left out all together! And its not always more dangerous to live outside the bubble. I feel that while I am religious, etc, I have tried to get out of the bubble, enough to realize a few important thing, and it hasnt made me less religious or brought any sort of danger to me.
I agree with booklet, but I do know that there are some people who cant live outside the bubble it would be too much for them.