not feeling it...

[kiyara]

I have a hard time being frum because I dont feel motivation to do the stuff that takes time and effort like davening etc.

[Confuzedinlimbo]

I'll tell you something a teacher once lectured my class on...davening is like a form of medatating. And you don't even have to be saying the words on the siddur and stand up or sit down. During this time, you try and comprehend g-d (and don't try and do this at a time when you're feeling hyper or tired, you need to be alert).
Try and comprehend Judaism. It's like a sci-fi novel. We are part of a unique nation who alot of the world hates, yet we still fight. What the hell do we fight for, I don't know. I personally fight for the truth (which is what I think Judaism is) and for the right to exist as myself. This is what motivates me because I want the truth and don't want anyone in my way or clouding my vision.
I'm orthodox, but not a fanatic. I love gore and dancing and all that other stuff, but if you just try for one second to see how beautiful the Jewish culture is, It will most definatly help you understand why me and many others feel we want to dovote our lives to this.

~confuzed in limbo ~ your starchild

[jojo100]

i know what u mean, being frum is hard when there isnt so much a motivation to be it. And its especially hard when ones friends arent frum. for me i go to a very frum school but not everyone is orthodox, lately ive been becoming friends with people who are really good influences on me instead of those who convince me not to be frum, people who others like and look up to and so do i, try one thing at a time, like i think its hard but its easier to try little things.

[Confuzedinlimbo]

I'm friends with alot of people who don't want to be religous at all and I am so damn orthdox it's scary. But the real world is a scary place and I need to learn to deal with these things.

[c00kiem0nster111]

what i've realized throughout high school is that a lot of my friends who came from religious families that were pushing them to be more religious just weren;t feeling it and because of their grudge against their parents they acted out and rebelled and broke many laws. I, personally, do not come from such a religious family, and although my family would never tell me to do something I thought was wrong, I often feel guilty about this especially when I;m listening to all the Rabbis talk about how spiritually important their Judaism is for them. I think that if parents would stop being so pushy the kids would be a lot more willing to be more religious. I know that this is not always the case and some kids are very observant b/c of their parents and some will just never be because they dont feel a connection with god but this is how its always been around me at least...well if anyone has any thought on this please reply
-c00kiem0nster

[kiyara]

I see your point, but from my personal experience, my parents were never really very pushy about observance, i mean we always followed all the rules, ate kosher, kept shabbos, totally, but stuff like always saying brachas, and washing before eating bread, and wearing skirts and stuff was more relaxed. and i dont think its led me to be more religious b/c i feel like my parents almost frown on the spiritual aspect, and going to extra mile, and that theyll just not do something (like for example, i know that a man must daven 3 x a day....but my dad doesnt go to shul every day. he puts on teffilin and says the shma. thats it. i go to school and see my rabbis, they daven in shul 3 x a day. so its all relative. but thats kind of what modern orthodoxy has morphed into - a feeling of lackadaisical-ness when it comes to every single mitzvah. so i feel like my parents might think im getting "too religious" if i start being all shtark and stuff....b/c for some reason they dont give too much clout to the hidur mitzvah/going beyond the law and enjoyment of it all....i dont know why...and that istn to say that if i got more religious they would be angry. they would be happy...i guess...but i get the intuition that they would take notice and be like "hmmm"

then again, i dont have the plans or motivation for that anytime soon anyway, so...just my comments.

[reerpoop89]

hey- i kno exactly how u feel. sometimes i just feel that this religion thing just isnt for me. and i feel like im out of place when im with my friends who arent religious . but then i think that god obviously is giving me a test and its all up to me to decide what to do with my life. some advice from me is that you should take things slowly - one thing at a time...

good luck

[kiyara]

yeah, I know that feeling of kind of being in the middle of the 2 worlds...

anyways, whats with the name? reerpoop...that is so crass....but I love it :p

[Hebraish]

I think that for your parents this is the level they are comfortable with. It doesn't mean that you have to be at that level. That is probably why kids become more frum in Israel, because they are seeing more excitement about being Jewish.

[Bongo_Dude]

Yea, u should learn from your parents, but you don't have to be them. Parents bring you up and try to instill in you values that are important to them, but it doesnt mean that you have to be them. You can grow religiously from that, or go backwards.

- B.D.

[convoluted]

Well if you believe in god which it seems you do then there are somthings to think about
( For those of you that dont believe in god or are hesitant to believe there can be a god i STRONLY urge you to read a book called "Permission to Believe" i dont know the name of the person that wrote it but im sure you can google it)
Anyways think about it: all these ways are how and why to serve god... also consider the fact that god gave you these rules to follow.
Another thing to consider would be a little story: a non-jew came to Shamai and asked teach me all the torah while i stand on one foot they got upset and sent him away, how could he think we could teach him all the.... they thought. So the non jew said "v' ahavta l'reiecha kamocha" and the rest of the torah is just to teach us how to do that"

Take what you want from the story and leave what you dont want, just a thought -convo

[booklet0519]

kiyara , i know what u mean.. my dad doesn't go to shul 3x a day, but everymornig he puts on tfillin adn says shmona esrai
i wish i had that kind of dedication
i also don't know what i believ in terms of mashiach, the 3rd bait hamikdash etc..
people ask sometimes "what do you mean orthdodox"? i keep shabbat, kosher, love learning and try and daven probobly around 6x a week, but i wear pants and do local theater and think girls shoukd be able to haev a minyan, but i go to an orthodx shul and i kind of feel stuck between orthdox adn something else?

does anyone know where i might fit in?

[kiyara]

i know, like i am defind as "orthodox" but do I feel close to it? do i ahve kavanah? bearely ever. only when i feel desperate that ineed something from God. Its unsettling but I kind of dont care....

[booklet0519]

does anyone have any tips to haev better kavanah?

[israeliwannabe]

booklet - try looking at the english translation and understand what you are saying when you daven. i used to have no kavana but i have alot of kavana now that i actually know what i'm saying. it may be annoying to have to look up what stuff means but after a while, you'll remember it. it's hard to have kavana when you don't understand what you are saying.

[booklet0519]

isrealiwannabe.. the problem isn't that i don't know what the tfillot mean, but that i do! I am having truoble saying them b/c i am not sure that i beleive them/ belive that they will happen...

[kiyara]

not only that, but a huge part of me doesnt care and doesnt sense a difference as to days that i do or dont daven.

[booklet0519]

i also fele that, but i want to beleiev that ic an make a difference

[israeliwannabe]

since u know what the tfillot mean, maybe try and connect them to things in ur life that u can relate to. thats what i do and it really helps.

[PrUnE]

I have a hard time being frum because I dont feel motivation to do the stuff that takes time and effort like davening etc.Well this stuff has gotta come by urself, u really can't be motivated into davenin and all, u gotta do it u shouldnt expect to be motivated.

[booklet0519]

part of the problem is that i do know what the tfillot mean, and i can't say them now wothout feeling hypocritcal sinc ei am not sure what i belive about mashiach. it was so much easier before i knew! there was just a feeling of connection when i said them adn thought about god as opposed to the words. i haev truoble doing that anymore..

has anyone read to life by harold kushner(??? unsure about authors name, but he wrote when bad things happen to good people also)

[israeliwannabe]

you can still daven even if you're not sure if you believe in mashiach. most of davening doesn't even have to do with mashiach. and you shouldn't feel like a hypocrite. just because you're not sure if you believe in one thing doesn't mean you have to stop believing everything. maybe it will get better over time. over the summer i was having lots of doubts about judaism and G-d and all that stuff. and it's hard because you're not sure exactly how you feel about it. but now i'm alot better. sure, i still have some questions but then again, there's always gonna be questions. try talking to someone who you feel close to that also knows what ur going thru. maybe they can give you some answers. it worked for me so hopefully it will work for u.

[PrUnE]

the thing is, u shouldnt feel like a hyproctire, because u can daven even if ur not sure about it, Don't just throw this whole religion in the trash, find out about it, u gotta ask these questions, cause i used to have alot of questions that i thought were huge, but i got most of them answered, i still have some that no one has answered, but still this is a natural things to have doubt, so just contiune what u were ur ready ask the questions to ppl who would know this stuff.

[kiyara]

the problem is, part of me doesnt even care to ask questions and find meaning in it. its like, i believe in God and i think about him at least once a day regarding random stuff, but I dont really daven...ever...except like sometiems in school and on shabbos. and when i do theres usually no kavana.

[booklet0519]

i really just want to know the anser. i know most of tfilla doesent have to do with mashiach.. my issue is with the amida

i daven in school every day, and if i cant focus i try adn think about god. i haev been talking to ppl, adn also reading books ., if anyone is having the same issues as me i recomend harold kushner's books. i am reading when bad things happen to good people now. and also to life! both are helping me to find a judiasm that i am comfeterable in and with... hoping that as i keep reading, i get more adn more comfeterbale with his ansers