losing the glow...

[LadyOfCarlisle]

Do you think something necessarily loses its "specialness" from overexposure? Perhaps if we change our mindsets and make a point to contemplate the everyday things in life that are special, then they will always stay special. I think the problem is not that we stop appreciating things, but that we start ignoring them. I've been told that the really unique things in life never fade. I wouldnt know for a fact, but everyone i know who is truly in love always says the same thing about waking up every morning and still being suprised at how wonderful their love is.

[Bongo_Dude]

Lady,
I'm not so sure. I think overexposure does affect "specialness," and that can be slowed, but at some point it is nothing like it was before. Yes people think their love is wonderful after years and years, but its not the same as it was when they first started. I am currently in a long term relationship and as wonderful as it is, there was an element in the first month or two that is no longer there - the newness and specialness.

- B.D.

[xonethousandtearsx]

i agree with bongo.. in a relationship for about a year.. it was better in
the first few months. ur not used to that person and your learning all about them and its fun but then once u really get to know someone you may fall in love and everything but u can start fighting and stuff. its great in the long term if you love them so much but its so special int he beginning and that does wear off....

[Bongo_Dude]

I wasnt saying that it was better in the beginning, only different. I would even argue that it has gotten better because I have grown with my girlfriend and we are closer than we were before. It is just a different thing, and there is an aspect that is gone

- B.D.

[xonethousandtearsx]

i didnt mean to come across as it sucks now its amazing. just its so fun to start getting to know a person and the beginning is a special time. although now is even more special cuz we've changed with each otehr and goen through stuff

[Bongo_Dude]

I totally agree. Good luck with everything (its nice to know you're not really arguing when you thought u were)

- B.D.

[darkfairyeyes]

HELP! My relationship was amazing for 5 months and then it stopped. Im nearing 7 months and I think I may be in love. I dont know what to do though because things arnt as good as they used to be. Please please please tell me what to do. Im no joke freaking out. I need to be with him because I love him but is he worth it?
~hopeless~`

[Bongo_Dude]

Well, if its just not AS good as it was but its still good then theres no need to worry; thinsg tend to lose their specialness over time (at least I think so). However, if its not good at all anymore then you need to be honest with him and with yourself and take care of it, either finding a way to make it good, or the unfortunate ending

- B.D.

[Gingyish]

Of course things "lose their specialness," but you can make it better... find out what is making you feel that way. Discover the problem first before you diagnose it. You can make the word "love" a verb. You can probaly do the same with "glow." He is worth it as long as you want to put the effort into it. It all depends on your laziness (and his). Good luck.

[Bongo_Dude]

ditto - it all depends on the effort you are willing to put into it. Update would be appreciated...

[darkfairyeyes]

Well, Ive finally learnt that my dad is the type of person who would never ever except anyone or anything I care about. A lot has been going on. My boy friend and I are doing a bit better now. 8 months on the 25th and that's next Sunday so yay. I'm just having a problem because one of my "friends" keep flirting with him. For full details check out "All Gone Hell" and then "Friends with Flaws". Thanks for the help guys.

[domim]

wow- good luck w/ the dad thing fairy eyes- as for the losing specialness- i dont know how often you guys see you boy/girlfriends, but i think its a lot easier to keep it special when you dont see the person every day. talking on the phone every day is different than actually seeing the person- theres nothing like talking face to face and if its soemthing that only happens once or twice a week or less, things stay special for a lot longer. (not saying that you should avoid your boyfriend in school all week in anticipation of a date saturday night...)

[darkfairyeyes]

well i dont go to school with him so thats not an issue
~hopeless~

[hollar]

of course a relationship loses its the excitement of its newness- eventually it isnt new anymore!!! but there is also sumthing wonderful about spending a long time with sumone, i know first hand, the way u know them and they know u, and even tho there isnt tht as u call it "glowy" feeling all the time, there are certain times where u just realize how great he or she is, and that moment is so much greater and more real than tht "new" feeling. of course u begin to take eachother for granted, and thts y relationships take constant work. not every moment will be ur greatest or romantic or special. i have so many memories now and the love has gotten so much deeper that i think even tho its different, its better over time.