Spanking at home

[scaredofmikvah]

Hey guys. I just wanted to get everyone's opinion on something. My parents used to spank me when i was younger. They still spank my younger brothers. What do you guys think about this? I mean, its not like they are abusive. but it is very embarrassing. Usually, my father will lecture the person being punished a litle, then he pulls down your pants and underpants, puts over his lap and spanks you. i mean it hurts, but the real bad part is that he pulls down your pants. its pretty embarrassing. i just wanted to know if anyone had any opinions on this about if it helps or if anyone has had that happen to them or anything.

[confused-bochur]

Hey guys. I just wanted to get everyone's opinion on something. My parents used to spank me when i was younger. They still spank my younger brothers. What do you guys think about this? I mean, its not like they are abusive. but it is very embarrassing. Usually, my father will lecture the person being punished a litle, then he pulls down your pants and underpants, puts over his lap and spanks you. i mean it hurts, but the real bad part is that he pulls down your pants. its pretty embarrassing. i just wanted to know if anyone had any opinions on this about if it helps or if anyone has had that happen to them or anything.

Hitting a kidto punish him doesn't amke sense. Hoe do you teach a kid that hitting is rong when you use to teach him what's right?
If it's wrong to hit in the general sense, then it's wrong to hit a kid as punishment. Also, if my parents would ever hit me (they never ever did thank G-d) I don't think I could trust them since I'd be scared of getting hit. Kids shouldn't be that afraid of ther parents. The Torah says we shoud be afraid of our parents. It doesn't say that our parents should make us afraid of them.

[twingal01]

Up to what age did he spank u or ur siblings by pulling down pants?
This is the thing about hitting. Most parents hit for the childs benefit, such as if the child is running in the street or does something which could cause harm to him then the child will hit to instill a fear in the child not to do that thing again. The problem starts when parents hit their kids too often, then it doesn't accomplish anything, cause the child will just hate the parent and will become immunie to the spankings. However, I do not feel that pulling down the pants to hit a child is an ok way to punish a child, I think that its really wrong to embaress the child that way, especially if their older already. I feel bad for anyone who had to go thru such a situation, and my only advice is to learn from it and not do it to ur own children.

[stardust]

I have my own view on spanking. I was only spanked 2x in my whole life. I forgot it until I read your piece. It didn't hurt that much but it was embarassing. It taught me not to cross certain lines but I will never ever hit mychildren. In my opinion it kind of sends the wrong message.Not to mention the fact your parents are causing you shame/embarassment. That's just not right. Yeah I think you might want to tell them that you've heard "in the school halls" that when parents spank they actually might cause phsychological damage, which is far worse than anything else. Anyway I'm totally against spanking children or anyone hitting anyone. TOuch is for LOVE. You should tell them that. Also yelling is super bad but that's hard not to do.



Hey guys. I just wanted to get everyone's opinion on something. My parents used to spank me when i was younger. They still spank my younger brothers. What do you guys think about this? I mean, its not like they are abusive. but it is very embarrassing. Usually, my father will lecture the person being punished a litle, then he pulls down your pants and underpants, puts over his lap and spanks you. i mean it hurts, but the real bad part is that he pulls down your pants. its pretty embarrassing. i just wanted to know if anyone had any opinions on this about if it helps or if anyone has had that happen to them or anything.

[hazels21]

i can understand your parents wanting to make it clear that something is wrong, and sometimes verbally telling a child just doesnt get the message across. my mother used to spank my brother and i as kids when we did something that she had already made clear was unacceptable, usually being disrespect. however, she would never pull our pants down, i think that is just wrong and unacceptable no matter who you are. also, it needs to be done in strick moderation, or else the child gets the message that violence is the right way to solve problems.

[stardust]

Yeah I agree with you.

[mysterious]

I definetly dont like spanking. Looking back, and I know this may sound strange..., I think my mom spanking me as a kid put a sort of strain on my relationship with her. Dont get me wrong she only spanked me if I was "really bad" but still. I didnt and still dont like to spend time with her... it made me feel pushed away I think as a kid. And I think it also made me think that hitting is ok. To this day it is sometimes difficult for me to refrain from hitting another person if I disagree. Hmm, this can be a problem... :rolleyes:

[DancingMisery]

I know what you mean. I tend to hit people also when I get angry. It's not like I hit them hard or anything.. I'm not even strong enough for that. but I definitly hit people sometimes and I feel bad about it afterwards. I got spanked also, but my brother and I were usually paddled instead. OUCH! it hasn't really strained my relationship with my parents though. I know I won't do that to my kids, but they saw it as alright because that's what was done to them so I don't hold it against them or anything. Maybe you should try talking to your mom about it?

[honorary_mexican]

i think any kind of extreme punishment (being hit or being put down mentally) really screw up a kid's relationship to thier parents. my dad is more of the verbally abusive type (he likes to emphasize that i am a failure, and blame things on my mother, oh, theyre divorced btw), and now i'm 15, and see my dad about once a month, and i try to avoid him as much as possible. i figure when the majority of your time spent with someone is negative, you're going to harbor some subconcious stuff that'll make you want to stay away from them for a while. i dunno, if parents could just learn to talk things out rather than shout them...

[stardust]

Hey I totally understant not wanting to see your dad but I have to be honest with you because I care about you as a fellow Jew.
Before it's to late, how about confiding in your dad that when he talks badly about your mom or puts you down it only makes you not want to see him. HE needs to know this because right now he's probably hurting that you don't see him. He prob feels your mom is turning you against him when really it's his own actions that scare you off.
YOu need your dad and your mom and our religion always speaks about the power of change of teshuva (repentance). You can possibly change this entire situation if you try through communication. I hope something good can come from this.

[ellbond]

Hey guys. I just wanted to get everyone's opinion on something. My parents used to spank me when i was younger. They still spank my younger brothers. What do you guys think about this? I mean, its not like they are abusive. but it is very embarrassing. Usually, my father will lecture the person being punished a litle, then he pulls down your pants and underpants, puts over his lap and spanks you. i mean it hurts, but the real bad part is that he pulls down your pants. its pretty embarrassing. i just wanted to know if anyone had any opinions on this about if it helps or if anyone has had that happen to them or anything.

ok ..if he still spanks you then its very emabarrasing, but if he doesnt then i think its not bad to spank your kids when they are young..but if they are older .then they better stop..i used to get spanked when i was little too..i think its for the best though..i learned my lesson on alot of things..i mean my dad didnt pull down my pants or anything..idk..but then my dad stopped when i was about 5, because he thinks its wrong to spank the girls because i guess we keep grudges longer than boys do and we are more sensitive..(pay back lol)jk.but after the punishment you have to tell the child why you spanked them or else they would not understand and they might do it again. by the way, my dad might not spank me but my mom occasionally tries to take a wack at me for talking back..but i just burst out laughng and then so does she. ok where is this topic leading to.lol ..i dont know what else to say